Thanking God's Grace!

Whatever the outcome it is on 14 March, I just want to take this time to thank my almighty God in Heaven! 

God, I thank You for being with me all this while. You have made my first IVF journey a very safe, smooth and painless one thus far. I had not experienced any side effect when I was on Lucrin and Gonal F jabs, not even mood swings, not even pimples outbreak which I am very prone to.

You had made ER such a breeze for me. You blessed me with 8 fertilised eggs with 2 lovely embryos transferred into me. Though the embryologist said that the other 6 were under observation, I'm sure You will continue to bless them to grow well in the lab to be good enough to be frozen. 

ET was of no issue for me except for the controlling of the bladder. 

Thank you, Lord for giving me such a great journey thus far! 

Lord, have mercy on us and continue to bless our two little embryos to grow strongly and healthily even though I'm not showing any symptom. I trust You will do wonders in our lives! 

Thank you and I love You, Lord!

Amen!

8dp2dt

Honestly, I do not have a very good feeling since yesterday. Ever since that day I had mentioned that my body suddenly recovered overnight, my body condition has been very normal. Too normal to even feel/sense that I might be pregnant.

I had googled many times on the Internet and those who eventually had a BFP all had some symptoms but of course there were also many out there who didn't have any symptom got a BFP too. I tried looking out for such symptoms and sadly to say, I have none. The symptoms that I probably had was on 5dp2dt after having dinner at McDonalds. That night I had mild AF-like cramp at the lower abdomen and some twinges on and off on the right side of the abdomen and 1 or 2 twinges on the left side.

Other than that, I have been very normal. No bloating, no sore boobs, no nausea, nothing at all.

I refuse to test on any HPT as I do not want to be disappointed twice. 

For now, I can only trust my Lord to create miracle for us with His healing hands. 

There can be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve. When you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

給寶寶的日記第十七篇

親愛的寶寶：

你還在嗎？你有聽到媽媽和爸爸跟你們說話嗎？自從那天陳醫生把你們放進媽媽的子宮以後，媽媽就一直很期盼你們的到來。

寶寶，你們要加油喔！媽媽之前的準備功夫，你都一直有為媽媽加油打氣！現在媽媽也在幫你們加油打氣喔！你要牢牢地抓住媽媽，千萬不要放手喔！不管有多痛，媽媽一定能夠忍住的。你不要擔心媽媽，好不好？

你們要健健康康的成長，也不要讓媽媽擔心，好不好？

5dp2dt

On Saturday which was 2dp2dt, I was woken up by cramps and very bad bloating in the middle of the night. I could almost feel that my skin was so taut and my abdomen was bursting and I even had night sweats. I woke up to go to the toilet a few times and when I lay back on my bed, I ended up tearing. The bloating seemed to go away on Sunday morning (3dp2dt).

Since I woke up in the morning (4dp2dt) to do my routine inserts of progesterone, I suddenly felt that my body had "recovered" overnight. There was no bloating at all, my breasts were back to normal. I just felt my body condition was really normal. I went for my last acupuncture at Dr Zou. She asked me if I felt bloated and I replied no. She didn't say anything. After my acupuncture, she felt my pulse and asked again if I felt bloated and I replied again no. She did not say anything. I then later asked her myself if I should be feeling bloated all the way. She said yes but commented that it was too early. The crucial days are the 6dp2dt and 7dp2dt. It wasn't very exciting for me to hear this from her as I thought all the bloatings were actually from the hormones drugs that I had injected into my body for the past one month and from ER and ET and I really thought I was getting better and proud of myself that my body is able to recover from all these side effects that fast. She prescribed me another week of TCM and I left her clinic.

Now whatever that she had mentioned to me is really making me paranoid and worried. I couldn't help thinking about what she said.

This morning after waking up to do my routine inserts, I still felt the same as of yesterday, no bloating and totally normal. Must I really feel bloated in order to have a BFP?

I kept talking to my babies that even though they are just grade 3 embryos in the embryologist's eyes, they are the best in my eyes. Even though Dr Zou commented that I should have grade 4 embryos, given my age and that i should feel bloated throughout the 2WW, I still think my embryos are the best! I recalled how I used to have an underdog volleyball team and nobody believed that we would be able to be the champion one day and we did it! I told my babies that even all the odds are against us, we must fight till the end until the final whistle is blown.

Dearest Baby Darlings,

Please stick with mummy and have faith in God and mummy that you will be fine. Trust in the Lord! God is with us!

Our IVF Journey

This is just a documentation of my first IVF journey.

7 Jan 2014:

CD1 of AF. Called KKIVF to inform them. They returned a call shortly and asked to go down on 27 Jan.

27 Jan:

CD21. Went to KKIVF and collected Lucrin - a drug to down regulate the hormones to prevent ovulation. Injected first jab (10 units) by myself with the guidance of the nurse. Was told to come back on 11 Feb for an ultrasound scan and blood test. Did acupuncture twice weekly with Dr Zou Yumin. Continued drinking her TCM. Ate 2 egg whites almost daily.

11 Feb:

D16 of Lucrin. Did ultrasound scan and saw 5 follicles and did E2 blood test. Collected Gonal F and was instructed to start injecting on 13 Feb after they confirmed the E2 blood test result in the afternoon. Continued Lucrin till further notice. Was told to come back on 20 Feb.

13 Feb: 

D1 of Gonal F (225 iu) & D18 of Lucrin. Injected both jabs simultaneously in the morning between 7 am to 7.30 am. Still doing acupuncture twice weekly. Increased to 4 egg whites, red bean soup, red dates & wolf berries tea.

20 Feb:

Ultrasound scan showed 17 follicles, biggest at 16.5 mm and smallest at 6 mm. Lining was 6.3 mm triple. Was told to come back the next day to check on the growth rate of follicles. Took the last jab of Gonal F from the first prescription.

21 Feb:

Scan still showed 17 follicles, biggest at 18.5 mm and smallest at 7.5 mm. Lining was 7.1 mm triple. 2 more jabs of Gonal F of same dosage for today and the next day prescribed. Pregnyl injection prescribed. Confirmed ER ON Tuesday morning.

23 Feb:

Last jab of Lucrin. 

Went to KKH O&G to take the Pregnyl shot at 11 pm.

24 Feb:

Jab free day.

25 Feb:

ER day. 17 eggs retrieved. 8 fertilised.

27 Feb:
ET Day. 2 Grade 3 4 cells embryos transferred. Remaining 6 are under observation.

Letter #16 to Baby Darling

Dearest Baby Darling,

Today is the embryo transfer day. Daddy and mummy always make it a point to reach KKH much earlier than the appointed time. We didn't wait for very long before our queue number was called. After some explanations from the nurse, mummy proceeded to have my E2 blood test taken to check if I am suffering from OHSS. 

Mummy then went to the toilet to do "big business" and as I was wiping, I saw some light spotting and it did get me a little bit worried because I did not have any spotting for the pas two days except on the day of egg retrieval. 

Mummy started drinking up again at 9.10 am to try to get a full bladder. At about 9.50 am, mummy already had a very full bladder. The nurse called and daddy and mummy went into the procedure room to get ready and wait for Dr Tan HH. As I was lying down on the bed, the nurse put some gel on my abdomen and did a scan to see if I really had a full bladder. After waiting for about 10 minutes, Dr Tan was still in no sight but I was so urgent that I really needed a pee. I got up and stood around in the room. I actually went to the toilet twice to pass out some urine to relieve my bladder a bit. 

Finally Dr Tan appeared and he apologised for taking so long to be here. He is always this nice man! Mummy really thinks that he is by far the best and empathetic doctor whom we have consulted so far. He was quick to get into action and asked mummy to focus on the left monitor. With all the spreading of legs and inserting of the apparatus, I was really holding back my urine to the max. I kept telling Dr Tan that I wanted to urinate already.

Finally I saw the two lovely embryos. They are just simply beautiful. With the assistance of the embryologist, Dr Tan successfully injected the two embryos into mummy's womb.

So for now, mummy is officially in the two waiting week. Baby darlings, please stay with mummy and continue to grow strongly and healthily and implant strongly and firmly onto mummy's uterus lining. 

Dear God, we have come this far. Please bless my two embryos to continue to grow strongly and healthily in my womb. Let them implant strongly and firmly onto my uterus lining for pregnancy to occur. In your most precious name, I pray. Amen!

Hail Mary, full of Grace
Blessed are you amongst women
Blessed is the fruit of womb Jesus
Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners now
And at the hour of our death
Amen

Letter #15 to Baby Darling

Dearest Baby Darling,

For now, please do stay strong and be excellent and have very high fertilisation rate! When you are strong, you must stick and implant firmly to mummy's uterus lining and grow progressively and healthily till the day daddy and mummy see you in real person. Even when you are out to see the world, you must also grow strongly and healthily each day. Daddy and mummy really have been hoping to have you since 3 years ago. Daddy and mummy want to bring you around to see the world! 

加油，寶貝！爸爸和媽媽等著你喔！