Diet That I Have Been Maintaining After ET

These are the few things that I have been having after ET and I really hope they really help with achieving our ultimate goal and that is to have our baby/babies:

• Chicken essence with cordyceps from Brands
• 皇中皇 or 貓山王 durians
• 1 to 2 egg whites
• Red bean soup or 黑糯米
• Similac Mum milk
• Red dates and wolf berries tea
• TCM
• Lots of plain water

11dp2dt

Something that I saw today at West Coast Plaza kind of pissed me off a little. 

I saw this lady who seemed to be pregnant lit up a cigarette and started puffing away. I just don't understand since they are blessed to have a child, why don't they cherish them the proper way? I know I should not judge but I am feeling kind of imbalance psychologically.

Something that I saw on the forum spurred me up a little.

A lady who had no symptom like me got a BFP!!! OMG! I really hope I would be like her! Really hope God will answer my prayers! 

If God is willing, I'm ever ready to be a mama! :)

PS: Not to mention, I'm having diarrhoea right now. 4 times to the loo. My ass is splitting very soon! 

給寶寶的日記第十八篇

寶寶：

剛才媽媽哭了。不知道為甚麼哭。只知道哭了，人好像覺得比較好一點。可能媽媽一直都在壓抑自己的情緒。其實說真的，媽媽好害怕失去你們喔！不管三月十四日的結果是如何，寶寶，你們都要把媽媽撐住喔，不要讓媽媽倒下，知不知道？

你們知道嗎？ 媽媽每一天都跟上帝禱告，希望上帝能夠保佑你們兩個健健康康的成長。

寶貝，跟著媽媽，好不好？

Thanking God's Grace!

Whatever the outcome it is on 14 March, I just want to take this time to thank my almighty God in Heaven! 

God, I thank You for being with me all this while. You have made my first IVF journey a very safe, smooth and painless one thus far. I had not experienced any side effect when I was on Lucrin and Gonal F jabs, not even mood swings, not even pimples outbreak which I am very prone to.

You had made ER such a breeze for me. You blessed me with 8 fertilised eggs with 2 lovely embryos transferred into me. Though the embryologist said that the other 6 were under observation, I'm sure You will continue to bless them to grow well in the lab to be good enough to be frozen. 

ET was of no issue for me except for the controlling of the bladder. 

Thank you, Lord for giving me such a great journey thus far! 

Lord, have mercy on us and continue to bless our two little embryos to grow strongly and healthily even though I'm not showing any symptom. I trust You will do wonders in our lives! 

Thank you and I love You, Lord!

Amen!

8dp2dt

Honestly, I do not have a very good feeling since yesterday. Ever since that day I had mentioned that my body suddenly recovered overnight, my body condition has been very normal. Too normal to even feel/sense that I might be pregnant.

I had googled many times on the Internet and those who eventually had a BFP all had some symptoms but of course there were also many out there who didn't have any symptom got a BFP too. I tried looking out for such symptoms and sadly to say, I have none. The symptoms that I probably had was on 5dp2dt after having dinner at McDonalds. That night I had mild AF-like cramp at the lower abdomen and some twinges on and off on the right side of the abdomen and 1 or 2 twinges on the left side.

Other than that, I have been very normal. No bloating, no sore boobs, no nausea, nothing at all.

I refuse to test on any HPT as I do not want to be disappointed twice. 

For now, I can only trust my Lord to create miracle for us with His healing hands. 

There can be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve. When you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

給寶寶的日記第十七篇

親愛的寶寶：

你還在嗎？你有聽到媽媽和爸爸跟你們說話嗎？自從那天陳醫生把你們放進媽媽的子宮以後，媽媽就一直很期盼你們的到來。

寶寶，你們要加油喔！媽媽之前的準備功夫，你都一直有為媽媽加油打氣！現在媽媽也在幫你們加油打氣喔！你要牢牢地抓住媽媽，千萬不要放手喔！不管有多痛，媽媽一定能夠忍住的。你不要擔心媽媽，好不好？

你們要健健康康的成長，也不要讓媽媽擔心，好不好？

5dp2dt

On Saturday which was 2dp2dt, I was woken up by cramps and very bad bloating in the middle of the night. I could almost feel that my skin was so taut and my abdomen was bursting and I even had night sweats. I woke up to go to the toilet a few times and when I lay back on my bed, I ended up tearing. The bloating seemed to go away on Sunday morning (3dp2dt).

Since I woke up in the morning (4dp2dt) to do my routine inserts of progesterone, I suddenly felt that my body had "recovered" overnight. There was no bloating at all, my breasts were back to normal. I just felt my body condition was really normal. I went for my last acupuncture at Dr Zou. She asked me if I felt bloated and I replied no. She didn't say anything. After my acupuncture, she felt my pulse and asked again if I felt bloated and I replied again no. She did not say anything. I then later asked her myself if I should be feeling bloated all the way. She said yes but commented that it was too early. The crucial days are the 6dp2dt and 7dp2dt. It wasn't very exciting for me to hear this from her as I thought all the bloatings were actually from the hormones drugs that I had injected into my body for the past one month and from ER and ET and I really thought I was getting better and proud of myself that my body is able to recover from all these side effects that fast. She prescribed me another week of TCM and I left her clinic.

Now whatever that she had mentioned to me is really making me paranoid and worried. I couldn't help thinking about what she said.

This morning after waking up to do my routine inserts, I still felt the same as of yesterday, no bloating and totally normal. Must I really feel bloated in order to have a BFP?

I kept talking to my babies that even though they are just grade 3 embryos in the embryologist's eyes, they are the best in my eyes. Even though Dr Zou commented that I should have grade 4 embryos, given my age and that i should feel bloated throughout the 2WW, I still think my embryos are the best! I recalled how I used to have an underdog volleyball team and nobody believed that we would be able to be the champion one day and we did it! I told my babies that even all the odds are against us, we must fight till the end until the final whistle is blown.

Dearest Baby Darlings,

Please stick with mummy and have faith in God and mummy that you will be fine. Trust in the Lord! God is with us!